"Trauma is not what happens to us, but what we hold inside in the absence of an empathetic witness."

Trauma is a deeply painful or difficult experience that can occur in life. It can stem from events like accidents, the loss of someone important, abuse, bullying, or witnessing something distressing. These experiences can harm us both emotionally and physically, and the effects often linger long after the event.

Healing from trauma requires time, support, and often specialized therapy to help the person process and begin to rebuild a sense of safety and stability.

Relational trauma occurs when we experience hurt or harm in important relationships, such as with family members, close friends, or romantic partners. This type of trauma can involve emotional abuse, neglect, betrayal, or abandonment. When relational trauma happens in childhood, it can deeply affect our ability to form healthy relationships as adults. It often leaves us feeling unsafe, unloved, or unworthy, and can impact how we see ourselves and others.

Relational trauma can make it difficult to trust people or create healthy connections. 

Through therapy, it’s possible to rebuild trust, learn healthier ways to relate to others, and feel more secure in our relationships. This starts with a good fit and a safe therapeutic relationship.

Complex trauma refers to exposure to multiple or repeated traumatic events, often over a long period of time. It typically occurs in situations where the person feels trapped or unable to escape, such as ongoing abuse, neglect, or living in a violent environment. 

Unlike a single traumatic event, complex trauma involves a pattern of harm that can deeply affect a person's sense of self, relationships, and emotional well-being. It can lead to symptoms like difficulty trusting others, feelings of worthlessness, emotional numbness, or problems with controlling emotions. 

Childhood abuse can be especially harmful because it happens when the brain is still growing, and it may come from caregivers or trusted adults. Trauma can change how we think, feel, and act, often causing feelings like anxiety, sadness, or fear. When trauma happens in childhood, it can also change the brain, leading to problems like trouble focusing, feeling overwhelmed, or shutting down emotionally. It doesn’t just affect our thoughts and feelings—it can also hurt our physical health.

Studies have shown that childhood abuse is linked to many health problems. For example, women who were abused as children may have issues like nightmares, headaches, back pain, stomach problems, or eating disorders. Some may also have conditions like fibromyalgia or chronic fatigue syndrome. These physical problems are often linked to the emotional and mental effects of trauma, and it's important to heal both the mind and body.

Healing from trauma is important not only for emotional well-being but for physical health as well. With the right support, it is possible to work through trauma and feel better over time. Healing doesn’t erase the damage, but it means the trauma no longer has control over your life.

Therapy for complex trauma needs an experienced therapist who understands how dissociation (when parts of yourself feel disconnected) can affect treatment. Sometimes, certain parts of us may block the healing process or we may not have the skills yet to cope with the emotions from traumatic memories. A trauma therapist knows how to identify and help with dissociation. Once this is taken care of, the therapist can guide you through Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) to process the traumatic memories and begin healing.

I use a combination of Parts Work and EMDR to help you heal and process trauma. Here's how each approach works and how they can work together:

In Parts Work, we recognize that you may have different "parts" of yourself that hold different emotions or beliefs, often shaped by past experiences. Some of these parts may hold trauma, while others may be the more protective or “adult” parts of you. During therapy, we work to identify these parts and understand their roles, especially the ones that might be stuck in old patterns of fear or pain from trauma.

The goal is to help you connect with these parts in a compassionate way, allowing them to heal and integrate with the rest of you. This work can help you feel more whole, as you process the trauma that has been held in these parts, and develop healthier ways of responding to triggers.

EMDR is a specialized therapy designed to help you process and heal from trauma. It involves using bilateral stimulation (usually through eye movements, taps, or sounds) while you focus on the traumatic memories. I use a specialized, HIPPA compliant, online platform for this part of the process. This helps your brain reprocess the trauma so it no longer has the same emotional charge.

In trauma therapy, EMDR helps you reduce the intensity of distressing memories and feelings. Over time, it can help you feel more at peace with past experiences and build new, healthier ways of thinking about them.

When combined, Parts Work and EMDR provide a holistic approach to trauma healing. Parts Work helps you understand and connect with different aspects of yourself that hold the trauma, while EMDR helps you process and release the emotional charge of those traumatic memories. By addressing trauma at both the emotional and cognitive levels, this combination allows for deeper healing and lasting change.

In therapy, we would begin by identifying which parts of you are most affected by the trauma, and then use EMDR to process the memories tied to those parts. Over time, this can help you feel more integrated, confident, and at peace.